The second out happens as we execute our plan.
Things aren’t working the way we expected it to.
As with the Out of Denial there are 3 potential responses when we hit this out:
1) I now understand what I need to become to be successful – and I want no part of it.
2) I’m OK with what I need to become and will stay on the path.
3) I’m uncomfortable. My plan isn’t working the way I expected it to.
In the first response, as you do the work, you realize that identity changes you need to make to succeed at your change conflict with who you want to be. Sometimes, we don’t know this until we get into the work.
This is also a great reason to get off the change curve.
It’s another invitation to let go of the dream and focus on other activities that are more important to you and will move you closer to who you truly want to be.
Make this decision from a deep understanding of what your best self looks like.
The difference between seeing the change you need to make and realizing it pulls you away from being your best self and seeing the change as “too hard” may not be entirely clear.
The second path is to keep going.
You may have encountered a challenge.
I have found that challenges to goals tend to fall in the following categories.
- Resources – as in, I don’t have the right resources available, this cost more money than I expected, that sort of thing.
- Time – as in, I can’t seem to find the time to make this change or do the practice.
- Energy – I had a plan. It was a great plan. But I just didn’t have the energy to execute it. Maybe you got sick, or your kid got sick, or work got really busy. Then, during the time you set aside to practice your new habit, you just don’t have the energy.
- People – Even the most well-meaning supporters can make achieving our goals challenging. Ever try to start a diet, then have Mom make your favorite dish that, of course, isn’t on your diet plan? Belonging is a core human need and, in my experience, the need to belong is the thing that derails change – because your change challenges others.
This is an opportunity to adjust your plan. Find ways to overcome those challenges.
Tests litter the path to mastery. With each challenge you overcome, you become more confident in the change and move towards becoming the person you need to be for that change to stick.
This is a great time to begin recruiting supporters and mentors if you have not already done so.
The third path is subtle and attitudinal.
In my experience, I find that it occurs when I think the plan is “bulletproof.” Then I encounter a challenge that I did not anticipate. The change is harder to execute than I expected, and I question my ability to overcome the challenge.
This is a test of my “Why.” Is this change important enough for me to do what I need to do to overcome this challenge?
You may see a number of unexpected “outs” in the phase of disappointment.
Do you have what you need to address these outs? The biggest challenge lies ahead.
I recently compiled a short list of my favorite personal planning resources for my newsletter subscribers.
Having a roadmap for your journey makes it easier to ignore the siren song of distraction.