Think about the last time you made a major decision. How long did you agonize over that decision? Did you create lengthy advantage/disadvantage lists attempting to gain clarity? Now remember when you asked your wise friend about what he or she would do. How quickly did they give you sound advice? Was that advice something […]
The Role of Identity in The Change Curve
It dawned on me, as I read Atomic Habits (Amazon, non-affiliate link) and Fisher’s 2012 version of the change curve, that the dip in Fisher’s change curve is driven by identity. How does the change challenge your identity? Fisher speaks to this in his 2012 paper, but I think we underplay the emotions and the […]
Fake It Till Ya Make It
I don’t think we have a true notion of how our identity needs to shift when we make a change until we get into the change. Furthermore, we tend to get into change initiatives from where we are now. Our old selves. There are rare instances where we can completely cut off everyone who knew […]
A Neglected Type of Power
Much of the popular leadership literature focuses on two types of power: Positional power – You are given respect because you are the President of Whatever, the VP of Things, or the Director of This-n-That and people want to keep their jobs and/or reputation. Personal power – You are given respect because others see you […]
Asking Questions
“Seek first to understand, then to be understood.” – Steven Covey, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People Too often, we use questions as weapons. We use questions to dominate others, demonstrate our “superior” mastery, advance our own agenda. No wonder asking questions, and being asked questions, has become so emotionally charged. What if we […]
Listening
Listening deeply to another is the best gift I can think to give this year. Being able to hold space for another. Listening with no agenda. Listening without aiming to respond, or be clever, or win the conversation. Many of us aren’t taught to do this. Our educational system seems to reinforce “listening to win.” […]
How to Mitigate the Dance of Blind Reflex
Barry Oshry started running the Power Lab back in the 1970s. Using anthropological observation techniques, he identified the system that we find ourselves operating within – and how it becomes dysfunctional. Tops (End) – Burdened by overwhelming complexity and responsibility. They feel unsupported, isolated and out of touch. Conflicts in this area become personalized and […]
The Relative Importance of Stakeholders – Using Cats
This gem from 2009 provides one of the best descriptions of stakeholders (and the perils of paying attention to the ones closest to you) I’ve seen. It’s only 3 minutes. Remember: Your project needs to ultimately satisfy the cat. (Thanks to Brandon Carson for sharing this video.)
An Example of Legacy Challenges
Breezewood, Pennsylvania, to me, is a classic example of what happens when too many stakeholders are too wedded to the status quo at the expense of the greater good. The New York Times recently published an article summarizing the history of the Breezewood interchange and the challenges around connecting I-70 / I-76. My suspicion is […]
#52books Getting to Yes with Yourself
#52Books Getting to Yes with Yourself: How to Get What You Truly Want Format: Kindle This is the book where William Ury, master negotiator, admits that it all starts from within you. So much material on negotiation starts with how to manipulate others into doing your bidding. Ury, in Getting to Yes with Yourself, flips […]
