James Clear, in his fantastic book Atomic Habits (Amazon link, non-affiliate), talks about the relationship between Outcome (Have) – Process (Do) – Identity (Be). Many people begin the process of changing their habits by focusing on what they want to achieve. This leads us to outcome-based habits. The alternative is to build identity-based habits. With […]
Bob Mould’s Lesson in Optimism
It’s hard to look at things sometimes. Even harder to see the good in the things we see. Beyond the polarization. Beyond the systems that are “working as designed” and chewing up people in the process. Beyond the busy and the projects and the distractions and the demands. One of my favorite musicians, known for […]
Looking at the Development Dimension
Some of the most exciting research over the past 20 years has been in the field of adult development. What we’ve learned: When we graduate high school/college/grad school that we don’t quit learning or growing. Shocking, right? Adults have their own developmental path. Most adults stop growing voluntarily – often in reaction to their environment. […]
Environment by Dimensions
When I look at myself and my relationship to the environment, I look in 3 dimensions: Time – The now > today > this week > this month > this quarter > this year > this life phase > long-term Altitude – What is right in front of me/the next step/the details to the very-high […]
Why a Stable Center is Important
Complex transformations— societal, technological and work-related—are having a profound impact on people’s lived experiences. A common theme is psychological stress related to a feeling of lack of control in the face of uncertainty. These issues deserve more attention: declining psychological and emotional wellbeing is a risk in itself—and one that also affects the wider global […]
Combining Goals with Your Why and Your North Star
When I was 14, I wanted to be a roadie for Led Zeppelin. Nevermind that John Bonham had died in 1980 and Jimmy Page and Robert Plant had stopped speaking to each other. This dream wasn’t about meeting rock stars (I wound up meeting plenty – just not Page and Plant), or about travel (good […]
Emotions
As I sat with Empathy, I realized that the foundation of that conversation is our relationship to our emotions. Some of us (myself included) come from families and work in environments where Spock is a role model. Emotions are an inconvenience (at best). “Happy” is acceptable. The rest of it – not so much. “Calm […]
Empathy
In response to my Top 5 Skills for 2019 post, a mentor of mine asked, “What about Empathy?” I found myself resisting. Hard. We all have Empathy. Some of us squelch it – partially by training, partially out of self-preservation. Some of us overdo it – inappropriately taking on the emotional labor of others. Some […]
Presence
Definitions of presence (noun) – according to Google The state or fact of existing, occurring, or being present in a place or thing. Synonym: existence. A person or thing that exists or is present in a place, but is not seen. Synonym: spirit, specter, ghost A group of people, especially soldiers or police, stationed in […]
Asking Questions
“Seek first to understand, then to be understood.” – Steven Covey, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People Too often, we use questions as weapons. We use questions to dominate others, demonstrate our “superior” mastery, advance our own agenda. No wonder asking questions, and being asked questions, has become so emotionally charged. What if we […]
