Perfection develops as an adaptation or a survival strategy for a number of different reasons. The most common one is to compensate for a sense of inadequacy and not being good enough, and over functioning to meet external standards is one way to offset those feelings of inadequacy Deany Laliotis, LICSW in the National Institute […]
What ‘Decision Criteria’ Looks Like in Action
I’m going to share some of my decision criteria when faced with choices. Remember the 4 questions from last week: What area of your life are you focusing on right now? What are your goals – long and short-term? Which relationships are important to you? What values do you wish to demonstrate? Here are my […]
Developing Decision Criteria
When faced with a new idea – what decision criteria are you using? Have you defined it? Or are you just saying “yes” to whatever is in front of you? Not that saying “yes” to whatever is in front of you is a bad thing. At certain times of life, it’s a great way to […]
The Power of Others
My brother, my partner, a friend and I sat around the table furrowing our brows at our respective cards. My partner and I were on the verge of winning a highly competitive game of Spades. Highly competitive because my brother and my partner are highly competitive people. The friend and I served as participants in […]
Looking at the Time Dimension
“Most people overestimate what they can do in one year and underestimate what they can do in ten years.” Bill Gates We can only act in the present moment. We only have certainty right now. We can only decide what to do next from where we currently stand. We can base our decisions on where […]
Environment by Dimensions
When I look at myself and my relationship to the environment, I look in 3 dimensions: Time – The now > today > this week > this month > this quarter > this year > this life phase > long-term Altitude – What is right in front of me/the next step/the details to the very-high […]
Evolution Happens – How You Can Work With It
How is your life different from last year? How is your life different from 5 years ago? 10 years ago? 20 years ago? Since you left college (or high school)? How has your life evolved over time? Is it an orderly progression of steps towards mastery? Is it a series of plateaus punctuated by periods […]
The Power of Periodization
In 2009, I found myself carrying almost 25 pounds more than normal and having to go shopping (yet again) because my clothes were too tight. I knew it was bad when Mom began to give me her hand-me-downs because they were too big for her. I needed to do something. My weight had been stable […]
Combining Conflicting Goals
I abandoned my pursuit of a History Ph.D. in 1996. At the time, my colleagues asked “So what are you going to do? Teach?” They had images of me standing in front of a classroom of 6th graders. My response was “I’m not sure, but I have transferable skills as a result of this education. […]
Combining Goals with Your Why and Your North Star
When I was 14, I wanted to be a roadie for Led Zeppelin. Nevermind that John Bonham had died in 1980 and Jimmy Page and Robert Plant had stopped speaking to each other. This dream wasn’t about meeting rock stars (I wound up meeting plenty – just not Page and Plant), or about travel (good […]
