I will be launching a new service in January 2018 that will help you create clarity around your goals, certainty about what to do, and help you provide a greater impact on your work environment.
In the meantime, I’d like to share a free PDF containing a useful personal prioritization exercise to help you get started.
I hope you can join me on this journey!
Next step is to look for patterns in your feelings.
What was happening that helped you feel the way you wish to feel?
Yes, we are supposed to be able to “control our feelings.” “Be happy no matter what” and all that.
It’s a heck of a lot easier to be “happy” when you are in an environment, with people, and doing things conducive to that feeling vs. gritting your teeth and being “happy” despite wanting to throttle the person in front of you.
In my (hard) experience, lying to yourself about how you feel about a situation tends to show up very sideways at inopportune moments later on.
Take that list of feelings. Maybe separate out one per page – give yourself room to write.
For each feeling, describe a time (or two or three) when you felt that way.
Did you feel that way anytime yesterday or today?
How about a week ago? A month ago? Last year?
If it feels like forever and a day since you had that positive feeling – describe the last time you had that feeling?
Do a quick top-of-mind list for each feeling. Revisit tomorrow and maybe each day during the week.
Patterns will start to emerge.
One of the feelings I want to have in the next year is “Relaxed.”
OK. So when did I feel relaxed in the past year?
- Hanging out with my brother, my partner and my Dad by the fire a couple weeks ago, talking.
- Working on a crochet blanket for a cousin watching Iron Resurrection (I watch car shows like people who don’t cook watch cooking shows – as aspirational fantasy)
- Walking Cally the Dog around the neighborhood on a beautiful 60-degree day
Thankfully, this year I felt relaxed more often than those three times. These were just the “top-of-mind” experiences.
- No computer or cell phone
- I was able and willing to be very present to where I was, what I was doing, and who I was doing it with (no reminiscing or future-tripping)
- In two out of three instances I was outside
- In two out of three instances I was with people I deeply care for and enjoy their company
This tells me that if I want to feel “Relaxed” more often – I need to turn off the computer, get outside and hang with friends.
Even if that friend is a dog.
The Desire Map: A Guide to Creating Goals with Soul – Amazon Affiliate Link
The Desire Map Planner from Danielle LaPorte 2018 Daily (Charcoal & Gold) – Amazon Affiliate Link. This is one potential tool for those of us who really don’t pay close attention to our feelings on a day-to-day basis. I happen to like analog journals and use one daily as part of my morning routine.
Another approach, especially for those of us who aren’t really bought into this whole “feelings” thing is to take a few days with a mood tracker app. A few options:
- Moods – iOS only
- iMood Journal – Android and iOS. Blunt (Really Great —> Couldn’t be worse), but it will help you see patterns.
- MoodTrack Diary – Seems pretty comprehensive
If you find, as you do this exercise, that you need live help or support – I recommend 7 Cups.